for matt’s 1st birthday..
(written last 25th of june, 2008 for matt’s 1st bday)
there were no plans yet of having another baby after marc.
four months after giving birth to marc, i was suspecting another pregnancy. and i was fervently hoping that it was negative.
and sadly, i wasn’t able to go with them.
the outcome of my pregnancy test loomed over me like a death sentence. it was positive.
i was hoping for the contrary. for a couple of reasons.
marc was still too young to be a kuya. he was still in need of our undivided love, attention and care.
i was uncertain about some things in some aspects of my life. i wanted to have another baby when everything is already falling into its right place, when i’m already prepared.
but after succumbing myself in depression, it came to me that there was nothing really to be depressed about. i was having another baby, another bundle of joy. wasn’t that more than enough reason to celebrate?!
my second pregnancy wasn’t as easy as the first one i had. i had spotting in my first trimester and my OB advised me to take a complete bed rest for a week. that was so hard for me because i couldn’t take care of marc. i couldn’t even cuddle and play with him. dade dave had to bring him to his pedia for his immunization all by himself.
on my fifth month, i found out my baby’s gender. and as my OB put it, “congrats! betlog ulit!” after the ultrasound, i began thinking of a name that would best fit my next baby. of course, his dade insisted that his next son should also bear his name. and i came across this name meaning “gift from God”… MATTHEW…
and so he had a name, MATTHEW DAVE…. and he’d be fondly called MATT… a name i found so classy…
my OB told me i could choose a date to give birth from june 27 to july 3. i chose june 27 which is also the bday of my life’s fortress, my father.
my husband wasn’t beside me during my delivery. he failed to witness this another miracle happening to our family. it left me wondering what he was feeling from the time i told him i was already in the hospital till the time someone texted him that the operation was final and successful.
i could vividly recall every detail that happened on that fated day in the hospital. my OB asked me to be there at 6am as the operation would start at 8am. we were there a few minutes before 6. she wasn’t there yet. the nurses did all the necessary preparations. after everything, they allowed me to stay in a room where i could comfortably wait for my OB. i was feeling a little nervous but tried so hard to calm myself. after about an hour, a nurse came up and told me my OB was already there. that was when i felt so shaky with fear.
i was awake during the entire operation. i could hear every order of the doctors around. my eyes seemed too heavy but i couldn’t sleep. after what felt like eternity, i heard someone say, “wow, it’s a boy!” and i heard my boy cry… and my OB looked at me and when she saw i was awake, she asked the pedia to bring the baby close to me. and my first sight of matt felt so magical! i wanted to check if he was okay because few weeks before giving birth, i slipped on the floor while cooking. i was so afraid that something bad might happen to him. thank God he seemed okay!
i breastfed matt EXCLUSIVELY for 6 months. and the hardest part was i had to bring him along wherever i had to go because he didn’t want to drink from his feeding bottle.
matt has been a very healthy baby who has only been sick for four times during his entire first year. he had cough and cold twice, had a fever once due to teething and stomach flu on my bday.
he had his first responsive smile when he was around 1 1/2 months old. he would smile at me as i sang to him some nursery rhymes. he would also reach out to touch my hands and my face.
i’ve always thought that it was such a foolish idea to use those repeated one-syllable names filipinos typically give their kids such as let-let, mai-mai, ann-ann. i remember one incident when my brother with some cousins tried to introduce themselves to a girl they found beautiful at the beach. my brother said, “ako nga pala si dondon. at mga pinsan ko, sina macmac, bongbong, jayjay, jonjon.” and the girl just said, “are you kidding?!” it kept them in speculation of whatever offensive things they might have said. and they all burst into laughter when they realized that it was all about their names.
and i just found myself doing this crazy thing… and my husband followed suit… of calling my bunso, MATT-MATT…
happy bday, matt-matt-a-baby!
