The last two days had been a roller coaster ride of emotions. Confusion was comfortably lying on my head, and it seemingly didn’t want to leave the place. There were so many questions, but all I’ve heard were stupid answers which could be utterly be considered as escape goat meant to save the person from harsh condemnation.
I’ve talked to some people regarding my situation, but there was only one friend who was able to give me… IN MY FACE… the confirmation I’ve been wanting to hear. It’s a sad reality that I’ve come to face over the years. I’ve thought I wouldn’t go back to this. But after some time, I’ve found myself standing where I was before….
BACK TO SQUARE ONE… after all the things I’ve surpassed, I’m starting all over again. There will be many changes I have to embrace, many pains I have to endure, many sacrifices I have to carry out. The process will be painstaking, for sure. I’m diving into the pool of uncertainties head first. But frankly I promised not to give a damn to the past. I have to move on, but I am weakening. One foot has to vehemently drag another to a very unsecured place. One has all the courage, while the other holds all the fears. But I’m certain that time will come that both feet will come running again. No more hesitations, no more fears, no more pretentions. They will stand firm and leap over all the obstacles placed on their roads.
After all, I’m still lucky. Those people whom I dearly hold have nothing but overflowing love for me. And I feel that, despite the distance.
this is our last night here on House 218x Road 73x Area 90x Riffa. i can’t deny the nostalgia i’m feeling right now. we’re leaving this house which has been ‘home’ for us for 10 glorious, blessed, at times lonely, but, by and large, joyful and memory-filled months.
this flat has been the bare witness of so many milestones in our family… this is where matt-matt learned to walk, where marc started to ‘take care’ of his little brother in his own little ways, where my two boys began interacting and playing with each other, where hubby and i wanted to kill each other (char!), where we both made our own stabs in making our marriage work.
yeah, sometimes you have to let go because, by some baffling and unfathomable circumstances usually tagged as ‘twist of fate’, changes just happen and things just suddenly become out of hand.
goodbye, dear house! it’s sad that we’ll be leaving you tomorrow!
but we’re all looking forward to collecting more memories in our new abode! new home, fresh start…
when i was growing up, i was somehow trained by my mom to be smart about money. contrary to what my cousins thought, we weren’t given everything we wanted. we had to work for it.
when i was in first year HS, i spent most of my time during weekends in a classmate’s house to make our projects. and being a music lover, i really envied her component inside her room. i realized how ‘dull and boring’ my room was because i didn’t even have a radio in my own room.
we always passed by a store with some mini-radios on the display costing as low as 200pesos. i never told my mom that i wanted a radio for i knew that she wouldn’t just buy me. i planned to save up my money to buy myself a radio!
mama used to give me 50pesos because i didn’t have some packed lunch then. so to save money for my dream radio, i secretly prepared my ‘lunch baon’ after mama left home for work.
and when i was able to save 500pesos, i approached her and asked her to go with me to the mall because i would buy a radio. i saw the shock on her face when i let her see my precious 500pesos. she found the juice to ask me where i got the money. and she chuckled so hard when she found out how!
when we were at the appliance store, i was really feeling devastated as i took a look at the prices of the radios there. i couldn’t buy anything with my precious 500pesos! the amount i saved was insufficient for my dream radio. mama must have noticed the frustration i’ve felt and so she just asked me to give her my precious 500pesos and she would just pay for the radio using her credit card. happiness!
that was my first money-wise story. after that, i got so inspired to save up money for i have realized that i should work hard for my own satisfaction and that i must not ask from anyone to give me what i want.
Oftentimes, we allow ourselves to be submerged in feelings of depression, loneliness and dejection. how many times have we felt that all things tend to fall apart and that happiness seems to be a remote possibility? We worry most of the time. Unknowingly, we surrender ourselves to all the negativities we could possibly engage ourselves in.
We haven’t learned to APPRECIATE.
And what makes appreciation next to impossible???? Many things. Past hurts, personal tight spots, global crises, even other people’s predicaments. We absorb all these things that is probably why we look right through some things worthy of our sheer indebtedness.
When things have become so mundane and nothing exciting and out of the ordinary happens, boredom inhibits us to thank the Creator for the predictability that gives us some kind of assurance that life is not worthless after all.
There are so many things to thank for. I believe the list is as boundless as the love our Father has for each and everyone of us.
Sun may set and darkness may loom around us, but it’s guaranteed that the sun will shine again the
next day and its radiance will greet us once again. Rain may heavily pour, but after a while, Mr. Sun will beam once more. Problems may come, tears may fall, but after some time, we’ll hit upon the resolution and get a hold of our happiness and peace of mind.
Everyone is gifted with a lot of people who, beyond doubt, love, cherish and sincerely wish for our happiness. But unluckily, many times we have taken them for granted and have failed to notice all the things they do for us.
Our body is said to have the ability to heal itself. Despite all the trauma it has gone through, be it physical or in any other aspect, it has the knack to bounce back to its usual state. But this is only possible if we will help our bodies to make this happen.
These, among many others, are the reasons why we should extend our gratitude to The One Supreme Being who provided us more than we could ever ask for. He is the fountain of life and strength. Without Him, we’re nothing.
Take the conscious effort to relish all the simple things around us. Let’s take pleasure in each and every grace showered upon us. Our life is a blessing, we have to use it well. And for us to never go wrong, we have to offer all our actions and dealings to our Great Provider.
And one way of giving back all the glory, we should make it an everyday endeavor to be a blessing to everyone… not just to the people dear to us, but even to those people we meet barely through chance encounters.
Homemaking Pleasure
5 a.m.
hubby was still on bed. i was in the kitchen preparing his breakfast and baon when i suddenly heard some footsteps. i didn’t check it out at once because i thought it was hubby. but after a while, i heard a very soft chuckle. it was kuya marc standing by the kitchen door! and when i turned to him, he flashed that very sweet smile which started my day right.
kuya marc is already 2 years, 3months, 3 weeks and 3 days old. and he never fails to amaze and surprise me and his dade with all the things he can do and some of his funny antics.
1. he can recite the alphabet from A to Z alone.
2. he can count from 1 through 10 in filipino, english and spanish.
3. he knows his favorite fruits… a-pul and ‘nana.
4. he can do the sign of the cross and say’amen’ after.
5. he can point to the different parts of his face and body… eyes, nose, mouth, ears, tummy, ‘big bird’, ‘pw*t pw*t’, paa, tuhod, balikat, ulo…
6. when matt-matt is crying, he gives his li’l bro a toy. and if he doesn’t stop, he finds for his milk. and if matt-matt still keeps on crying and nothing can stop him, kuya marc just covers his ears.
7. he sings codename asero’s theme song.
8. when he sees richard gutierrez on tv, he says ‘a-su’ (asero). when he sees raymond gutierrez, he also says ‘a-su’ thinking that it was richard!
9. when he eats, he shares his food with dade and mame… by force!
10. he hates noise! he gets really agitated when he hears us laughing out loud or when he sees people fighting on tv or when he hears the paging system at the mall.
these are just some snippets about my kuya marc. there are still a lot more! and he’s becoming more and more adorable each passing day.
Homemaking Pleasure
